The One to Thank Who Keeps on Giving
On this day last year I was recovering from Thanksgiving. And no it wasn’t because I ate too much turkey or pumpkin pie, it was from pregnancy. Last thanksgiving I spent most of the day nauseous and most of the evening throwing up.I was 2 months pregnant and in the thick of nausea, exhaustion, and general yuckiness.
The tears and prayers and dreams and wishes of starting a family were already starting to fade away because, in the thick of it(puking in the toilet), I had forgotten His faithfulness and I had forgotten my thankfulness.
It’s humbling, really, to recall my emotions and attitude throughout pregnancy. Those close to me know that I struggled with severe nausea and heartburn until being prescribed medicine. By the time 5 o’clock came around I was wiped out. I felt bloated, nauseous, fatigued, and all I wanted to do was take 100 tums and go to bed. In the beginning I remember many times telling Nate, I don’t want to complain. I will be sick for our baby. I’m just so thankful that I am able to have a baby. However, It didn’t take long for my attitude to change and for me to forget the gift of life the Lord had given me.
I’m quick to complain and slow to thank.
I could have blamed the hormones or heartburn but it was really just sin. Selfish, joy-stealing, ugly SIN. If motherhood has taught me anything, it’s that God is faithful. He is faithful even when I am not. He’s faithful whether I whine to Him, complain to Him, or praise Him. He’s faithful even when my selfish ugly sin blinds my heart from the truth.
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
He is always faithful.
He didn’t let me sit in my grievances. He lifted my head and showed me light and His love. When all I could do was complain, when all I could think were the “I misses”, when I had forgotten His life-giving power, He lifted my head and guided me to the truth of His grace.
This year, I look back to last Thanksgiving with joyful tears in my heart and a restored hope in my soul. I hold my little girl in my arms and not my belly. I now see why the Lord brought me to a place of discomfort and isolation. I now see why.
The Good Shepherd led me to His feet where I found peace and grace and love and beauty and restoration and life; AGAIN!
O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago.
For the LORD is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.
He’s the giver of all things good and the forever faithful Father and for that I am thankful.